I did check out your stuff and enjoyed reading it! I’m returning my honest response under the assumption that this conversation is still fun for you. Please don’t let me stress you out by dragging you into something you don’t enjoy. I wouldn’t be voicing my opinions on this topic unless I had an unusually tolerant friend like you to talk to. The moment you lose interest in this conversation I will fall silent and any erroneous ideas I retain won’t harm anyone but myself.

If our argument is based in personal experiences and anecdotes, no true refutation is possible. All I can say is that “I have other anecdotes and personal experiences”. One of those experiences is the experience of restraining myself from behaving inappropriately, retraining myself to behave appropriately, and knowing how and why I did it. I know where the temptation, to engage in bad behavior comes from because I see the worst of myself reflected in the actions of people that behave badly. This gives me, other men, and certain women, a different but valid perspective on the causes of the type of behavior we are discussing.

I can address the strip club example in two ways. First, strip clubs have a huge problem with misbehaving customers and put measures in place to assure the customers that they will be ejected from the premises if they step out of line. Secondly, the men in those clubs are keeping their impulses under control and enjoying themselves appropriately. Every form of recreation involves indulging impulses which would be harmful if out of control. Most forms of harmful behavior involve out of control impulses, like greed, hunger, or anger, and it seems that in the case of rape and sexual harassment the primary out of control impulse is lust.

I separate sexual harassment and rape from “gender discrimination. Men who don’t want to allow women to onto their golf course are not motivated by sex in my opinion. Telling women they can’t fly aeroplanes seems like a clear case of the patriarchy repressing women. Things like rape, excessive eye contact, and “mansplaining” seem like the result of out of control sexual impulses. Sadly, your example of attempting to cause a woman to lactate involuntarily seems like a sexually motivated act of depravity as well.

The kind of re-education necessary to eliminate what I call gender discrimination seems simple. The therapy to completely eliminate aberrant social behavior resulting from poorly regulated sexual urges seems more complex. I think that incorporating an honest male perspective would help to solve this problem, and I don’t think this is being done in the places where it could do the most good.