Thanks Bruce! We all enjoy different aspects of the being a good person. I’m sure you’d put your foot down if your friends and family were in danger, you just wouldn’t enjoy it as much as I might. I still treat the people that matter to me with kindness and sympathy, I just wish that more aspects of daily life called for ruthlessly berating people or putting people in martial arts holds. I think if there’s one key thought that might help a nice guy like you be more disagreeable, it’s the idea that a small negative reinforcement at the time of the offense is more effective than a huge punishment later on. The more quickly you address an insult the smaller your reaction needs to be. Standing up for yourself is actually a form of conflict avoidance.