Sarcasm Sucks!
Freeing a person from the delusion that they can sense irony will spare them a lifetime of frustration.
People confuse sarcasm with irony because they lack a “sense of irony”. The phenomenon is analogous to a tone deaf person confusing two songs with a similar cadence. If the mind isn’t sensitive to the potential for multiple meanings, then ironic and sarcastic statements sound the same. Even though irony is a delightful consolation for the harshness of our indifferent universe, and sarcasm is simply a form of rudeness.
Sarcasm is worthless. Many of you have noticed this before, but lacked the conviction to admit it to yourselves. It’s hard to let yourself realize that many of the people you care for go around saying “My sense of humor is really sarcastic.” or “Your face is stupid. lol, I’m so ironic.” not because they get the words confused, but because they are broken on the inside. A huge percentage of the population finds irony almost impossible to grasp, and a smaller but still significant portion of humanity completely lacks a sense of humor. That’s why these people like to write LOL and HAHAHAHA so much. It’s like the way sociopaths hide their lack of social awareness by making eye contact and smiling.
If you’re part of the 70% of the population that experiences irony, you know the pleasurable sensation of resolving conflicting meanings. It’s the “flavor” of irony and the flavors are notoriously difficult to explain. Quite a lot of the suffering going on online today is a result of failed attempts at irony.
When we allow the disadvantaged people we care about to believe they understand irony, our kindness hurts them. These people deserve to understand that their attempts to fit in by treating sarcastic mockery as a form of humor aren’t fooling anybody. Constantly saying things like “you’re stupid JK” is simply wasting their energy and pushing people away. Let them know they are not in on the joke and help them accept they never can be. They might be angry at first but when they realize that they can stop pretending and nobody will be mad at them, they’ll thank you. It’s not like you’re denying them the wonders of Shakespeare, or high brow comedy. They’ll still be able to laugh at the grave diggers, and Ricky Gervais’s jokes about fat women.
Here’s an illustration of how irony and sarcasm become confused in the minds of people who lack a sense of humor.
John Breaks His Leg:
John is in the hospital after breaking his leg during basketball practice. He is visited by five friends, three of whom have a sense of irony.
“Friend 1”: Hi John, sucks you won’t be walking for a while but at least now you have a chance to wear your Air Jordans!”
Everybody laughs and smiles at Friend 1 so, Friend 2 decides to get in on the action by saying. “Yeah, John you’ll jump REALLY high in those Jordans!”
Everybody laughs nervously and inwardly reminds themselves of friend 5’s redeeming qualities. Unaware of the reason for the difference, Friend 2 feels angry that everybody always laughs at Friend 1’s jokes more than his.
— — — — -
2’s unhappiness follows directly from his inability to understand irony. From 2’s perspective the first statement was “a joke” because it wasn’t true. John can’t play basketball, and therefore should not wear basketball shoes. 2 cannot find any humor or comfort in the idea of a pair of basketball shoes which are far too expensive to wear when playing basketball. Far from being amused, he would become angry at the contradiction if it were forced on his attention.
2 feels his statement is a far better joke, because it’s plainly not true that John will “jump high”. In fact, he won’t be doing any jumping at all for quite a while “hahaha lol”. Since he can’t see irony, he’s lived his whole life under the assumption that the basis of ironic humor is “a very strong false statement that is also cruel and mocking.” i.e. “Really great work John! You’re our new MVP!.” He can’t understand why some “jokes” make people laugh and others make people angry. He assumes that the response to the joke is somehow based on his status relative to the listener and whether or not they like him. Although he is only 16 he is already starting to hate everybody in his life who has a sense of humor. He will struggle with this feeling and may vent his rage in YouTube comment sections and other places where this difference between humor and mockery is largely ignored.
If there is an at-risk individual like 2 in your life. Take him or her aside and make them realize that they don’t need to make people laugh in order to be appreciated. Their deadend senses will make them impervious to much of the pain that comes with important jobs like human resource officer, senator, or Special Forces Sniper. They can gain the esteem of others by being competent, reliable, and generous. Freeing a person with no sense of humor from the delusion that they can tell whether or not something is funny, will spare them a lifetime of frustration and possibly a fatal beating.
